Pennywise the Dancing Clown - [Locked to Kyle]

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[Locked to Kyle]

Sep. 21st, 2008 at 4:48 PM

Kyle sweety, this is your mother speaking. You really mustn't go on the computer too much, Kyle, it'll ruin your eyes! Not to mention all those bad people on the internet are out there just anxious to trick and then do bad things to sweet boys like you. Why don't you come downstairs and help your mother out with some things?

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( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 09:57 pm (UTC)

Mom?! Mom how the h... Uuuugh fine fine. I'm coming.

-AFK's on Warcraft-

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:00 pm (UTC)

Such a good boy. Make sure not to dawdle, or else I won't give you any treats tonight.

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idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:06 pm (UTC)

Treats? Huh? O... okay mom. ~~Seriously. What the hell?~~

-About five minutes later, Kyle makes his way back upstairs.-

It's gotta be that fatass messing with me again!

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:10 pm (UTC)

Kyle Broflovski, don't you dare talk to you mother like that! Didn't we ever teach you any manners, or have those Canadians already gotten to you? Now get your gay little ass down here and please your mother!

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idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:15 pm (UTC)

...

AGH. What?! Mom? What the hell is wrong with you?!

I was just down there. You didn't need anything done then.

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:18 pm (UTC)

Do not question me, you stupid little fuck! Has your mind already rotted that much? Perhaps I should ground you from ever seeing those trashy little friends of yours, and then to make sure you don't talk with them I'll have your father sell your computer. Then I can have you all to myself, yes I can.

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idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)

HOLY SHIT. AAAGH. What's going on, seriously?! Where's Dad? WHERE'S IKE?

~~Shitshitshitshit.~~

Hey... uh... "Mom?" Yeah, I'm locking my door and calling the cops. I hope you didn't like, kill anyone... ~~Crap.~~

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:30 pm (UTC)

You won't get to see your father, Kyle. Your father or Ike. You're mine, and I won't share you with anyone else. No one. And don't think a locked door or even the police can keep you from me. You're my precious little boy, Kyle, and I'll make sure you won't forget.

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idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)

No! NO NO NO. You're not my mom! There's no way! ~~I mean, even though everyone says you're a bitch. You're not this bad.~~. I have to be dreaming. That's totally it. Maybe if I stab myself with a pencil or something this will all go away. YEAH!

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:37 pm (UTC)

You suuuure about that Kyle? You sure I'm not your deal ol' mummy just wanting her little boy to come give her a hug?

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idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:40 pm (UTC)

I'm totally sure! You're just a really really bad dream.

-Rips open his desks drawers and takes out a pen, raising it up and...-

SHIT. OW. DAMMIT!

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC)

Oh, you are quite right, how correct you are! I'm not your dear little mother, but this is no dream. Oh no, it is definitely not a dream. Do you want to know who I reeeeally am, KYLE?

[Video gets switched on, revealing MEL GIBSON! :0]

SURPRISE KYLE, IT'S ME! YOU'RE OLD FRIEND! Do you recognize me, KYLE?

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idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:49 pm (UTC)

HOLY SHIT. MEL GIBSON!

-Frantically tries to close turn of the computer.-

DUDE. I didn't steal your money! It was totally Stan and Kenny. I thought you were over the whole thing!

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 10:55 pm (UTC)

[Lol. Too bad the computer WON'T turn off.]

Oh no, Kyle, I most certainly am NOT. Don't worry, though I know the perfect way you can pay me back.

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idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC)

Dude, I am not paying you back! I gave you your eleven dollars and almost got like, the entire temple to hate me because of that crappy movie! I don't owe you anything! GODDAMMIT. Why isn't this thing turning off?!

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 21st, 2008 11:33 pm (UTC)

Oh no, I don't want any money from you, Kyle. But I do have a friend here who's just DYING to talk to you. You can pay me back by listening to him.

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idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 22nd, 2008 12:30 am (UTC)

I already talked to Jesus and I'm still Jewish. You're not going to convert me!

[Video:

Scrambling under his desk to rip the power chord out, but not before hitting his head on his way out.]

Dammit! This is the worst nightmare ever. Come on Kyle! It's time to wake up. Aaagh. Wake. UP!

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 22nd, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)

We don't care about Jesus, Kyle. But there is a little thing called Scientology you can look up. My friend Tom Cruise is here with me, Kyle. He wants to talk to you! Come be a good boy and convert for him!

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idonothaveafro wrote:

Sep. 22nd, 2008 11:11 am (UTC)

Oh god. Thank you so much for doing this for me <333

T-TOM CRUISE?! You're shitting me! I am not going to discuss scientology with Tom Cruise. That's total bullshit. Gah!

[Video:

Kyle scampers over to grab his phone, and plasters himself against the back wall over his room as he dials 9-1-1.]

Dude this is totally NOT COOL.

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children4lunch wrote:

Sep. 23rd, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)

Don't mention it <3

[Sound and video are on]

HAHAHAHAHAHA! WE'LL COME AND FIND YOU ONE DAY, KYLE! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FROM US. SOON ENOUGH, YOU'LL BE JUST LIKE US! JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

[Mel Gibson holds up a bright yellow balloon, which floats around cheerfully for a bit before popping. Blood sprays all over the inside of the screen, actually seeping out of the edges and running onto the desk. The sound stops soon after that.]

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( 20 comments — Leave a comment )